So this is my second blog and I couldn’t think of a more appropriate subject then communication. Communication is something we all know and probably learnt in middle school lol but I truly believe it’s a skill that people underestimate a lot. We communicate on a daily basis whether it’s at Starbucks ordering your caramel macchiato (yumm) or with your friends and family. And it’s how effectively you communicate of which dertermines the outcome of the situation or scenario. And as men and women we each communicate and go about life in two very different ways.
However more importantly on a daily basis when I talk to my friends/family or even when I meet women at work who end up off loading their problems onto me I realised that everyone wants a ‘perfect’ partner/relationship but most the time people aren’t prepared to put the work in!
Although, I do have to point out that ‘perfect’ relationships don’t exist well not 100% of the time anyway. We need to go through not so good times to truly appreciate the really good times. We live in a society where things are so easily replaced and a lot of the time instead of couples working through their problems they look elsewhere to fill the void in their life. And I’m just like holllddup boy, you can’t just ignore your issues in one relationship and just jump right into a next one thinking that it’s the other person who had the issue?!! Because I’m telling you now relationships are 50/50 so (most the time) half the issue was yours… so how is a new person gonna fix that? When really it’s you that needs to fix yourself!
So first things first (or fourth paragraph in more like haha) you probably have noticed in your life that men and women don’t think the same – well very rarely anyway and you must know this is completely normal! Men come from Mars and Women from Venus so don’t be alarmed when see him scratching his balls in public. Anyway, us women love to talk about our issues and relationships and just talk some more… but this is our way of dealing with things. We aren’t necessarily looking for advice we just need to offload our worries and like to feel that we are being supported and listened to. On the other hand the male specimen is opposite. Men rarely talk about their problems in depth so when they do it’s with select few or one person they respect and trust. So you know if a man is talking about his problems he is looking for advice and a solution -after all they are born natural problem solvers lol.
I do believe that in order for relationships to remain balanced and healthy men and women need to realise and except our differences within the relationship because arguments always come from a place of not understanding where the other person is coming from. Quite often people are quick to talk but slow to listen, so immediately when you open your ears you are on the path of resolving the issue rather then escalating it into another argument.
A lot of the time people tend to hold their thoughts feelings and emotions which c’mon is that gonna solve anything really? Lol. Like I have always been a pretty outspoken person when it comes to what I believe in and how relationships should be but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been in certain situations within a previous relationship where I could of walked away sooner! However I am a strong believer that when God wants you to grow – he makes you feel uncomfortable and if it wasn’t for things I have been through I wouldn’t of come out the other side and learnt the life lessons I know now.
Also remember that anyone who belittles your emotions or feelings is not the person you deserve to be with and that everyone has the right to own how they feel and to express it (in a healthy way of course)! And anyone who always thinks their always right can do one!
So all in all don’t hold things in say what’s on your mind get it out in the open because only by expressing it do you have the power to change it. Life isn’t always black and white and people need to be more open and empathetic of other people because trust me you’ll learn a lot.
So I decided to write this as my first post because it’s something I feel really strongly about. The definition of self love is ~ “the instinct or tendency to seek one’s own well-being or to further one’s own interest” which is basically saying fuck everyone else I’m gonna do me and put myself first.
So many people I’ve met think that you find happiness from another person but you don’t, it’s from within yourself. Happiness is something you are and it comes from your mentality and the way you think.
Self-love is all about having the confidence the power and the belief that you are special and you deserve someone who recognises your worth not someone who belittles it. And as you get older you understand your self more and you soon realise what you are willing to accept and what you are not! Which makes it’s easier to throw the trash out lollll. But on a serious note the right thing and the hardest thing are quite often the same. But in the long run though you will realise you made the right decision. So if ever you have to question your happiness in a relationship for a split second then girrrll (or guy) I think it’s time to take that leap of faith and focus on yourself and to just take time out to see what it is you really need and want from a person or relationship. Because there isn’t nothing worse than someone who doesn’t know what they want!
A lot of people are in relationships just for the sake of being in a relationship (which alot of us have probably done at some point) as the thought of being “alone” terrifies many. But I tell you something being alone is a billion times better for you than being in a relationship which is in some way toxic or draining or a relationship that doesn’t enhance your life and make you a better person! And a lot of the time you won’t realise the extent of someone’s toxicity until you meet someone else and suddenly you feel like you have breathed in bucket loads of fresh air.
Because at the end of the day we all want someone who is worthy of our love. Someone that will never put you in a situation in which you feel you must sacrifice your dignity,integrity or self-worth to be with them. And anyone who makes you feel any different just don’t deserve your love!
If there is one thing I know it is that you can never be afraid to leave a relationship even when you still have so much love for that person, because we all know at the end of the day sometimes love just isn’t enough.
So girl pull up yo big gurrrl panties wipe your tears and stop waiting for light at the end of the tunnel and light up that bitch yoselff.
And remember what often feels like the end of one thing is always the beginning of a next thing. So stay prayed up and and be thankful for all the blessings you have in you life and worry about loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.
So, here I am! March 14th 2017 I have always wanted to start blogging and after seeing a friends today i just thought why the hell not start today?! Life’s wayyy to short to just not do the shit you wanna do. Oh yeahh and my name is Chloé, Coco or CocoLoco lol.
So basically this blog is gonna be filled with all things beauty/makeup related and my reviews on products as I am a makeup artist who has always worked within the beauty industry. I enjoy uplifting women to make them feel empowered + confident. Also I will be posting a lot on spirituality and relationships +advice! I am kinda philosophical lol. I always try to look at the bright side of things and not let certain things take up my energy! I need my energy for other things lolll. So if this is your type of thing girrl then stay tuned honayy x
I’m such a deep/spiritual person which may surprise people initially when they meet me – face full of makeup and blonde hair (natural doe) don’t judge a book by its cover lol… but I always have been the girl who gets lost in her own thoughts. It’s the Aquarius in me! The girl gazing into space wondering what she’s gonna have for tea when people are rambling on or moaning about silly things lol (just kidding.) So yeah basically I thought that doing a blog would be a kind of outlet for me and my thoughts since as I have so many! I may as well share them with you beaut people.